All I Want for Christmas

It's taken me forever to write this post.
It's really hard to write about, but it's constantly on my heart.
We want a baby.
Unfortunately the desire to have a baby hit once I had UC.

My doctor has explained to us that I can only get pregnant when my UC is in remission.  Remission means an extended period of time where my body does not have flare-up.  I'm not sure how long this period of time needs to be; I just know I have NOT achieved it because I KEEP HAVING FLARE-UPS.

If my body is not in remission that would be WORST-CASE scenario for the baby....when I have a flare-up, my body does not retain or digest nutrients properly and responds in an auto-immune fashion.  It's the reason that I lose so much weight...it's like my food just goes right through me. Flare-ups can cause birth defects and more abnormalities--things that we want to avoid by taking the necessary precautions and waiting until I am healthy enough to carry a baby.

If I did get pregnant, my doctors would give me whatever meds necessary (Remicade, steroids, etc) to keep my body most healthy to carry a baby....while a normal person would be advised against these medications, they would be strongly recommended for me because the only way to produce a healthy baby is to have a healthy momma.  

So, all I want for Christmas is a baby, but it'll definitely have to be in God's timing....again, we find ourselves in God's waiting room, which is an awfully tough place to be, but I know lots of you are there with me waiting on whatever God has in store for you as well.  We are not alone as the body of believers.  I find great strength in that community.

I know we'd appreciate your prayers.

For now, she'll just have to be my baby!