I really never thought I would be someone to see a counselor not because I have negative connotations with needing to see someone; I think it's more just a personality
Those
- Encouraging people to come into work even if they are sick or RIGHT after they are sick...let's just spread the germs around some more, people, and get all our co-workers sick! That's beneficial to--wait--no one. Yes, I realize you need the money (I do too), but we have got to draw the line SOMEWHERE and allow people to heal.
- Heaping more and more work on "yes" people--you know, those people that are just so responsible and trustworthy and willing to dig in and do the work and always say "yes," so we continually go to them for more and more help...until they're burnt out. Not good. Not fair. Not right!
- We give people far less vacation time than many other countries. What happened to good 'ol R and R? Aren't we more productive when we're rested?
- We encourage people to take work home and applaud them for "going over and above." More like TOO MUCH!!!
- We have no--or very little--separation of work and family with constant access to work via cell phones, laptops, and specifically email (which work provides and expects us to check). Cool.
- And the one that really gets me: "You can sleep when you're dead." That may very well be true for you, but if I don't get my 9+ hours of sleep, I WILL be dead, so do you care to re-phrase that? Seriously. My body doesn't work like yours.
[END OF MY SOAP BOX RANT]
:-)
So...back on track: COUNSELING.
- No, I don't lay on a couch and spill my thoughts. Ha! (That was my first thought too...it's ok).
- We have talked about not taking on as much responsibility. (This is just a tad hard for me).
- We have talked about the fact that I tend to end up in lots of leadership roles, which I am drawn to, but also bring their own unique kinds of stress that is tougher to manage (and I just CANNOT afford the work-generated stress with my UC).
- We have also done some biofeedback therapy (click the link for some info on it because I really didn't know what it was either until my counselor suggested it) to help with some coping strategies for stress and anxiety. I've only done it twice; it worked really well the first time and the second did not work so well, so we'll see. I really think it could be beneficial for me to work on it though--it's essentially helping me to practice breathing in a way that calms me and deflates a situation rather than escalating it.
Thanks for your prayers. I still need them.
I didn't realize the toll that this long-term,
chronic illness was taking on me.
I'm thankful for the help I'm getting,
and I'm thankful for prayer warriors like ya'll.
4 comments:
I am so glad that you are seeking counseling to learn how to deal with your 'new normal.' You and I are so alike, Kristin! We're both very type 'A' and have a difficult time saying 'no' to doing things that take up a lot of energy and time. It's more than just saying 'yes' all the time, too; it's saying 'yes, and what else after that can I do?' that's habitual but exhausting. I think that we're both very cause-oriented, meaning we both have causes that we do almost anything for and we easily find and fall in love with NEW causes all of the time. Finally, chronic illness and the stubbornness that takes over when our bodies tell us to stop but we say 'no' out of principle. I know that I struggled and will always struggle with not being able to do as much in a day as I'd like with as many organizations/work assignments that I'd like.
I had to finally go to a recovery program to get a wake up call about the strain I was putting on my body, mind and spirit by not letting myself let go of what I had planned for my life and begin to be able to adapt to the new physical changes and challenges.
I looked at changing my 'normal' self as failing, and I tried to do more and be more for years before understanding that being chronically ill didn't mean I was a failure. It's still a process for me, but I'm trying to acknowledge the change and respond to it so that I can be the best version of myself and get to know my limitations and also my new opportunities; my 'new normal.'
I'm glad you're blogging about this! It's a process, but there are so many people who can benefit from reading this and other people blogging about their health issues and how they're dealing with them as well. I've found some books that are really helpful, so let me know if you need any recommendations :). I have a new blog where I'm going to do a post soon about certain books and quotes that have really helped me, so check out the site if you want! That post isn't up yet, but the site is www.annameredithloves.com. I would love to talk back and forth about our challenges and opportunities we both face because of physical limitations. I'll be praying for your journey!
Anna, are you ever up in Bentonville?? We should totally get together because I'd love to have lunch, catch up, and pick your brain about your coping mechanisms. I don't even think I know your whole story, so I will definitely check out your blog!!!!!
Your comments are so encouraging!!! Thank you so much, Anna!!!! :-)
I actually just moved up to Fayetteville in late September, so I'm really close to you! And David teaches in Bentonville, so I do go up there once or twice a week to see him. It would be great to go grab some tea and catch up! I haven't put anything detailed about my illnesses on my blog yet, but the 'biggies' are Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), Pelvic Floor Spasms, and an eating disorder (which is my most challenging battle). When I first got sick about three years ago, I was in the hospital for a month with horrible GI symptoms, and I had a feeding tube. Between then and now, I've developed a gluten intolerance and dairy allergy. For a long time, I didn't know what was making me sick, so I was eating about a handful of gluten-free Chex 3x a day (and then it was only because I had to take medication). I didn't realize this was a strange thing, I guess, but I lost about 45 lbs. and still didn't understand that I needed to eat more. My metabolism slowed down so I gained all the weight back without eating more than the chex. When I went into a health recovery program, the staff immediately saw the problem and they forced me to eat a whole meal 3x a day which was (and still is) really difficult to do and even made me sick.
They say "listen to your body" and I was when it told me that eating hurt, so I didn't eat. I, of course, didn't listen whenever it told me that I was doing too much and needed to slow down. As frustrating as it was to have a staff member sit and make me eat at the restaurant during ever meal, I'm so grateful that it was brought to my attention because I had no idea my body was starving itself and in turn, it was metabolizing medication and food slowly. I haven't really come out and told any of my friends about my problem of seeing food as an 'enemy' to my body, but it's not something I hide. It's difficult for a lot of people to understand because the American culture tells most people to clear our plates when we're small and to supersize our meals when we're adults.
Anyway, I'm still working on eating regularly, but it might be nice to get lunch because that way you can hold me accountable for eating that meal! :) Comment back on my blog when you have a free Saturday or weekday evening. I have a few other girl friends in NWA so maybe we should have a girls night!
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