Jack’s Birth Story and My Recovery

 Monday, March 4

I arrived for my normal checkup at the clinic to see my doctor. My c-section had been moved from March 29th to March 15th, but due to my blood pressure issues, I was being monitored twice a week….We were monitoring blood pressure and my lab work and watching carefully for preeclampsia. I did a non-stress test to check on the baby, and they checked my blood pressures for an hour or so. 

I was sent to triage at the hospital because my numbers did not look great (we had been there the week before being monitored overnight). My dad has driven me to my (routine -ha!) appointment, and so he took me down to the hospital. Again, we thought we were just doing more monitoring but by the time I got hooked up and they looked at my BP numbers and lab work, it was evident that baby had to come ASAP, and Matt was 45 minutes away. My highest BP that day was 190/90. 

I had already been given steroid shots the week before to help baby’s lungs in case we delivered early. And now they gave me magnesium, which helps to prevent seizures when your BP is so high. I called Matt and told him to come NOW—we are having a baby today and as fast as possible.

He practically flew to Fayetteville. Within minutes of him arriving, they were wheeling me back to the OR. The c-section itself went pretty fast and they had him out in what felt like minutes. Hearing his cry was the very best. He arrived at 2:02pm at 35 weeks and 3 days. He weighed 5 pounds 12 ounces and was 19 inches long. For being so early, we were so grateful for his size!

 

Unfortunately magnesium for mom can have nasty side effects for baby. He was very lethargic and needed support breathing so he was whisked off to the NICU, and we did not get to hold him initially. 

Matt followed the baby—who we hadn’t named yet—and I went back to our hospital post-partum room.  They had to monitor me closely due to the magnesium and blood pressure issues, so I didn’t get to see Jack again for a few hours when they rolled him down in his incubator. It was so hard to be separated from him, but we got the very best care and I was able to go to his room and see him as much as I wanted (once I recovered a bit more).

I lost A LOT of blood after delivery, and was in a significant amount of pain when they would do their routine pushing on my uterus. My doctor told me during delivery that my uterus was actually fused to my Jpouch, so any time I had contractions or they pushed on my uterus, it pulled on my intestines. Not fun! That night I had my first blood transfusion. My nurse that night -Lynne-was the sweetest thing and gave me a back rub and foot rub around 3am. She was such an encourager to me after a VERY long and intense day that didn’t really go as we had planned. 

I stayed in the hospital the full 4 days that you’re allocated for a c-section because Jack - who we named later that day- was upstairs in the NICU. 

After the first 2 days, Jack started to wake up more and more as the magnesium wore off. He did awesome in the NICU - and came off oxygen fully on Day 4. Then it was just practicing feeds and weaning him off the feeding tube! We fell in love with our nurses (shout out to Carley our favorite nighttime nurse!!)

Unfortunately my blood pressures never came back down, so while in the NICU, I started blood pressure med. I began to notice that I was having headaches and feeling weak again, so I ended up having a second blood transfusion around Day 7 because I was still so anemic. 

Finally, my Jpouch struggled to wake up and function (and when they open you up to do a c-section you get a TON of air in your belly), and for me this was so extremely painful because it was gas pains that reminded me of contractions - that’s how strong they were. Matt was a champ once again because he doesn’t do barf and when my Jpouch doesn’t wake up, that’s my body’s solution I guess. Ugh. It was awful.

We were so blessed to stay at the Ronald McDonald house which was just up a floor from the NICU. What a blessing!

On Day 11, Jack was discharged! He had mastered feedings and had been off oxygen for almost a week. Going home was wonderful. I had not left the hospital in all those days so it felt amazing to be free of all the cords, wires, and tubes….and to get sunshine and fresh air. 

A couple of days after getting home from the hospital, I noticed my legs were sore - and it almost felt like they were bruised. Due to my intense swelling during pregnancy, I just wrote it off that they were getting “back to normal.” Thankfully my mom and a good friend encouraged me to call my doctor ….who got me in for an ultrasound on my legs. Sure enough, I have a blood clot in each leg. 

So scary! I am now giving myself blood thinner injection (shots) twice a day…we are just grateful to be home!

What a journey it has been. So grateful that Jack’s recovery has been so much steadier than mine. Hopefully once we get past these blood clots, we can move on without any more hiccups in my recovery! It’s easy to be frustrated with my body, but also it has been through so much and just carried Jack for 9 months, so for that, I’m very very grateful!

Jack, we are so grateful that you are here safely and that you complete our family—we love you to the moon and back!

My ongoing journey through a chronic illness

Here are some takeaways that I’m pondering as I continue to process my journey through a chronic illness over the past 14 years....I’m about 10 months post-op from my final surgery in December 2018. 

1. I’ve learned that praying and asking for something specific (ex: patience or healing) or for transformation doesn’t mean you will just assume that posture immediately and it will automatically take root in your heart and doesn’t mean the change we ask for is immediate. That would be like praying fervently to be strong, and then sitting on the couch and eating Cheetos while praying for big physical muscles to just grow. You gotta get off the couch and lift and work those muscles. Just as it is with spiritual muscles. We may ask God for more patience but then he will take us through a circumstance to make us actually be patient. It doesn’t happen magically. And it is surely a process. 
2. James 1 says that trials —> faith —> perseverance —> maturity (spiritual muscles). What this also means, is that we need these hard things to be able to build those spiritual muscles. The valley is so fertile y’all. That’s where things grow. Yes, the mountaintop is beautiful, but in my experience there isn’t as much growing up there above the tree line. Pretty view from the top. Lots of fertile growth in the valley.
3. The same is true for suffering. No one prays for hardship. Typically we pray for and seek comfort. But ultimately God cares for my soul more than he cares if I’m happy in the short term. This is how I’ve learned to pray for God’s will. For me this looked like accepting the circumstances God had me in and begging for healing and believing He could heal me if he wanted to. But also remembering that until that healing arrived (which could happen here or in fully glory), my situation could be used for my growth and God’s glory. It isn’t to be wasted Just getting through our circumstances (grin and bear it, or by  pulling up our bootstraps) can work in the short term, but it serves no eternal purpose. But as I went through hard things, I kept in mind that my suffering could allow God to soften my heart, comfort and support others, and shift my perspective to the power and control that is God’s—not mine. HIS power is made perfect in my weakness. What a beautiful promise. 
4. Sometimes one of the hidden blessings of a chronic illness is the need for constant prayer (just talking to God) not only for me—the sick person—but for those who love the ill one. We all learn that we aren’t in control. But we also learn to bring things constantly before the Lord. Just coming into His presence is a gift and puts us in a posture of humility. (draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. James 4:8).
5. We cannot buy into the lie that our ability to pray or that our faith is connected to the outcome. His ways are bigger than our ways. If you don’t get what you prayed for, that does not necessarily mean you’re lacking faith. Man can this be a hurtful thing to imply. God answering our prayers how we want also doesn’t necessarily mean you have his favor. We often equate easy with good and vice versa. Just because something is hard does not mean God has withheld his goodness. 
6. Oh how I wish I had extended myself so much more grace throughout all these years, but especially last year in 2018 through my surgeries and most overwhelming year. No one was as hard on me as I was. God has shown me that more than anything I need to extend myself grace. When I do that, I am even able to extend it to others more freely. I’m grateful for the valleys the Lord has guided me (us) through and I can honestly say, I would do it all again to know Him better, to walk in his grace, and to understand that he is a good, good Father who shepherds and loves us with such undeserved grace.  
   

4-months Post-Op

Well, time has both flown by and crawled along.  It's similar to watching your children grow.  You don't see any results in a single moment, but you look up and all of a sudden it feels like they've "grown overnight."

Last picture with my bag! Big thanks to this bag for giving me some life back. But not sad to see you go!

Recovery from this last surgery was harder than I anticipated.  In some ways, I had gotten really used to the freedom of having an ostomy bag.  From June to December 2018, I didn't have to rush to the bathroom, I didn't have frequent stools, and I really didn't have too many problems with my bag in general so for me, it was a total positive experience overall. I now understood how and why some people to choose to just keep a bag forever.  For those of us who have been prisoners to the potty for so long, a bag really does bring freedom and empowerment.

With that being said, I did not enjoy bag changes, bag leaks (which only happened once or twice -- which I'm convinced is because the nurses at Mayo gave us such amazing education and training before and after), or the smells and care for a bag.  Whatever you have in your mind for what it's like to empty or change a bag, it's EXACTLY like that--except a little worse when you HAVE to do it and a little bit better than that too because the technology and process is actually easier than you would think.  So when people ask me what having a bag was like, it's exactly what it seems like (awful in moments but overall soooooo worth it).

So, my immediate recovery after this surgery was difficult.  SO. MUCH. THROWING. UP.  And so much nausea for weeks after this surgery as my body got used to now having another new way to poop.  I think it just didn't know what way was up.  3 massive and major surgeries in 6 months is NO JOKE, ya'll, and I really had no clue how hard it would be or was in the moment.  (For those just joining in on the fun...I had my colon removed in June 2018, I had my J-pouch construction surgery in October 2018, and I had my ileostomy take-down surgery to be able to use my J-pouch in December 2018. Any of these alone would be tough to recover from but back to back to back is real tough). Now looking back, I can see what a beast this was to tackle.  But for my sanity and for insurance (read: financial) purposes, God really was faithful to get all 3 in on one calendar year, so I will forever be thankful that we just knocked them all out.  That's really how I live anyway.  Let's just do the thing. #enneagram8perks

Once my bowels actually woke back up again after this surgery, it was evident that I was going to the bathroom all over again -- and RUNNING to poop just like when my disease was active and flaring.  It was a mind game to listen to the doctors and others who have had the surgery that say "this will get better" because I honestly wasn't sure I believed them at first, if I'm honest.  For about the first month or two I wore adult diapers because I just wasn't sure what my body was going to do.  I had to re-learn foods and how they will digest  (after just learning and figuring out how foods would digest and enter my bag which was ALSO an interesting experience too and I could write a separate post on just that).

You have to remember that my J-pouch is a receptacle/holder for waste until the body is ready to go to the bathroom.  Most people have 5+ feet of large intestine that their poop sits in and the colon's primary function is to remove water from the stool (so that you don't have diarrhea).  I don't have a colon anymore so there is nothing removing water from my stool. And my J-pouch is so much smaller, meaning it can hold FAR less in volume.  So you can see what it was like after my surgery and my body is getting used to pooping all over again, except I don't have the same parts any more nor do my muscles work exactly the same as they did before.  And my body didn't/doesn't care when it's day or night, so while most people just have poop sitting in their colons all night long waiting for them when they wake up, when I had my bag and now with my J-pouch, I just don't have as much room to store waste, so in the beginning I was getting up 2-4 times a night to go to the bathroom.  It was like having a newborn again at times, and it was rough if I'm being honest, because I like my sleep!

It was just a learning curve to figure out how to slow things down again, so now I am using a combo of fiber and Immodium to control things and ya'll, it's working!  In March I finally had the energy to get out and do more, went for walks, and by April I went on my first hike, my first road trip, first putt putt adventure with Will, and even jogged a bit.  I'm no longer waking up much at night anymore.  Most nights I don't have to get up to go, and if I do it's usually just once.

First time getting to go watch Will ride his bike and being able to keep up!

Playing putt putt together - finally not having to stay home but getting to join in the fun!!

We road tripped to Kansas City for a few days with the Kleppes.  For anyone with Crohn's or UC, you know that road trips can bring on anxiety, but I was totally fine in the car and felt great while we were there! So thankful for these people!

I've figured out how foods affect my pouch, I've figured out how to space out my meals and fiber/Immodium to work well, and I am beginning to feel more like my old (new?) self.  I honestly have not exercised or been very active since 2017, so my body is readjusting and relearning, and I'm loving how I am feeling and looking.

Most people when they see me say things like "You look so much healthier now! Wow!" I agree.  Steroids are so rough on people. They make you gain weight, you lose sleep, and for me at least, they make me look grey and tired and my eyes look sunk in.  It's just rough.

SO FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS, we feel like we could never say thank you adequately enough for the ways people have supported us, encouraged us, and most importantly prayed for us.  My first flare was in 2005, so 14 years feels like an eternity, but we know that the best is yet to come.  We give God all the glory for how He has healed me and is restoring me.  Matt and I have done some couples counseling just to process what we have gone through, and any time we reflect on it all, we are just so thankful for God's grace to us through so many of you! 

June 2018 to April 2019.  This is with no working out.  It's just evidence of what steroids do to your body, and it's awful.
So thankful to not be on prednisone or any other prescription drugs for UC any longer!  Praise God.

One of the verses I have clung to and claimed through this process, I will leave with you:
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  2 Cor. 4:16 

This post was on the physical changes I have made in the past four months, but there are so many lessons I have learned and ways that God has worked in my heart.  I'm still working on that post and hope to share more soon.

Thanks for reading, and please let me know if you have questions or if I left anything out you'd like me to elaborate on!
--Kristin

Take down surgery - Two Weeks Post Op

WARNING: This post contains lots of info about my surgeries, bodily fluids, needles, etc.  If that's not your thing, I just wanted to warn you ahead of time so you aren't caught off guard. Thanks!  And just for the record, years ago, I would have never written down a lot of this for others to read. It's just so humbling and gross. Haha.  But, if it can help or encourage one other person, then it's worth it. I've been encouraged and grateful for the people who have gone before me and shared their experiences, and I've been thankful that God has given me some opportunities to share my story with others as well.  God wastes nothing. I'm thankful for that. With that being said, here you go...

We arrived in Rochester on Monday, December 17th in time for early morning appointments at Mayo on Tuesday. My first appointment was a fluroscopic imaging of my intestines and J-pouch. They injected a contrast up my rear end (while I was awake) using an enema type process and then took pictures of my Jpouch to make sure it held the contrast ok and didn’t leak. This was a pretty uncomfortable procedure (so I thought), and I was glad I didn’t know what was coming when I checked in that morning. Then, I did some lab work and we met with my surgery team. My pouch had healed perfectly, so we were good to go!

Surgery #3 was takedown/removal of my ileostomy and connecting my small intestines back together to be able to utilize my new J-pouch.

On the day of surgery, we checked in and I was literally swept away to the OR by a team of nurses. The procedure ahead of me was quicker than they anticipated so I literally had no wait at all getting back into the OR. Just like with the first two surgeries, they gave me a spinal (similar to a c-section) so that they could use less general anesthesia. That process is never fun but it really wasn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things.

Ready for surgery.  No waiting around this time. This was about 5 minutes after I was checked in (which is unheard of for a hospital/medical setting.  Mayo is incredible!

I woke up feeling great in the recovery room and had to hang out for a little bit before they took me up to my room. That night I took a couple of walks (pushing my IV pole and catheter) and even ate some dinner. It seemed like this was going to be the best and easiest recovery so far.

The next afternoon my dad and I were walking and I just had this wave of nausea come over me and I remember telling my dad to hurry up and get a trash can. I continued with nausea and vomiting through that day and night. I also spiked a 103° fever and my white blood count was significantly elevated so they did some labs and a CT scan (which was horrible lying flat because that made me want to throw up more). I continued trying to walk to wake up my bowels and get them working but it just didn’t help much. Everything in your gut—food, mucus, fluids—either go down the way they are supposed to—or if your gut isn’t awake—it all comes back up. They put in an NG tube to suck out all the fluids in my stomach. That was such a horrible experience to have something down my throat and placing it was very uncomfortable. Lots of gagging and I still felt nauseous even with it in....which is why you choose to put one in in the first place....to get rid of the nausea and vomiting. So when they place it, then they send you down for an X-ray to make sure it’s in the right spot of your stomach. They changed the placement of mine two more times while we were in the hospital (so much gagging) and did xrays both times. Just going in the wheelchair down to imaging made me nauseous and uncomfortable. But I was holding out hope that the NG tube was helping. It was pulling out tons of bile and fluids from my tummy, but I still was nauseous and continued to throw up even with it in.

So thankful for my mom's support and love. I do not take it for granted!

 

Love these people!

My best friend from high school and college, Lori, and her husband Jeff and kiddos came from Iowa to visit.  It was sooooo special to see them and for our kiddos to meet.  We love you, Schmitts!!!

Thank you, Van Wyks, for stopping to see me!  It was soooo good to see you all and made our day! We love you!

With my surgery on Wednesday the 18th, we had hoped to be discharged by the weekend and home by Christmas. It was extremely disappointing to spend Christmas in the hospital, but who knew that Santa delivered gifts to little boys whose mommies are in the hospital?! It sure gave me a new perspective and such compassion for families that spend large chunks of time in the hospital and especially those with chronically sick kiddos.

And I have to say...my nurses and surgeon team were AMAZING. They comforted me by saying that 20% of patients that have colorectal surgeries have a “sleepy bowel” that just takes a while to wake back up and work quickly. We now look back with even more gratitude that I was spared from nausea and vomiting during the first two surgeries. Thank you, Lord.

By Christmas Eve, they removed my tube because it just wasn’t pulling much out of my stomach so we knew my gut had to be starting to wake up. Even though I was still a little nauseous, I was able to keep small amounts of food down and I was starting to go to the bathroom more.  Christmas Day was the turning point.  I was still pretty nauseous but at least things were moving in the right direction, and I was going #2 more and more.  We were discharged late morning.  (Matt ran out on Christmas Eve to pick up some Santa gifts so that Will would not be disappointed on Christmas morning...he kept telling us that Santa knows where you are all the time, so he would be able to find us.  Smart boy!  Watching Will open presents from my hospital bed was another one of those moments that I'll never forget because it was so far from what I had pictured Christmas morning to look like, but ya know what?  Will thought it was incredible that Santa delivered to the hospital. That Santa is such a great guy).  We spent Christmas night in Rochester at the hotel (thankfully they serve a meal every night at our hotel because NOTHING was open.  And it was chicken noodle soup of all things, which actually tasted pretty good!) and then drove to the north side of Kansas City the next day and got a hotel with a pool for Will so that he could burn off some energy. (He is such a good traveler and so patient with everything going on). Then drove the rest of the way home the next day (Will has reflux and he was throwing up the whole way home probably because we ordered pizza after swimming and right before bed.  We know better but weren't thinking... Y’all, I can’t make this stuff up).  We really thought we were going to be home by Christmas, so Will was pumped that Santa had delivered presents to our house too while we were gone. He brings a lot of joy during the really hard moments.  So thankful for that little man.

If you’re curious —I would be —it’s really strange not having a bag anymore. My body didn’t have to use those muscles for 6 months. So now I’m relearning how to go to the bathroom and pass gas. The pressure in my gut sometimes can be pretty painful because it is just not efficient at getting everything out yet. For quite a while, my doctors said it will be like my disease is back (awesome!!!!!!! Haha) because I wil have frequent and urgent trips to the bathroom. This was interesting on the drive home for sure. But again, i can see that my gut wasn’t even fully awake yet on the drive home so  thankfully God took care of that and we had no accidents.  My Jpouch is very small and over time it will increase in size and be able to hold more and more so that I will have less frequent trips to the restroom.  This will just take time and patience.

First time sitting in a chair. First time not feeling like I was going to throw up.

Now that we are home, I’m hanging close to home (and my own potty) while my body re-adjusts and learns how to use my Jpouch. My incision is healing really nicely, and I do loooooooove not having to empty a bag or change my bag every three days. I know it will get better and better but I’m still exhausted (I’m still waking in the night a lot to go to the bathroom) and healing and recovering.  This last recovery was a bit traumatic. I won’t say that it was easy because it wasn’t.  I do think we made the right choice, and I'm so grateful that we have access to amazing health care (and from a practical standpoint, that we were able to get all my surgeries done on one calendar year for insurance purposes).  :-)

Watching It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve in the hospital.  It's such a freeing thing to live aware of feelings and how we can be so unbelievably frustrated, uncomfortable, and disappointed with our circumstances and yet at the very same time so thankful and grateful and appreciative of all that God has done and is doing.   

I was surrounded by so much family and support, and for that I am so thankful. I could never say thank you enough to my parents and the Kleppes for walking every step of this journey with us.  It was a Christmas to remember for sure! I will never forget watching It’s A Wonderful Life in my hospital room on Christmas Eve alone in my hospital room. 8 years ago to that day, I was diagnosed with this disease, and it was amazing to reflect on how far God has brought me (us) and held us in his tender care. From pill after pill, years of steroids, Remicade, Humira, and Entyvio, suppositories, more steroids, 14 colonoscopies, more doctors visits and stool samples than I can count...what an amazing 8 years it has been.  2018 was rough but it was an investment into better health long term, so we look ahead with anticipation to 2019!

We would love your prayers for continued healing, patience with my body and J-pouch as we get used to one another, strength for Matt as he works and is Mr Mom when he comes home and takes care of me and Will, and strength and courage as I start to leave the house more and more (and venture away from my own potty)  and begin real life and work and all the things start back up.  Even though our life has been "on hold" in so many ways, it's always kind of a strong reality when you come back from the hospital and find that life is moving along and still going regardless of how we feel.  We are eager to plug back in to our "normal" life but also know that we will have to develop a new normal and new rhythm just as we have done with each surgery.  (I'm not great at resting or laying low but I know my body needs to continue to rest). We cannot even express fully our appreciation your prayers, messages of encouragement, meals delivered, cards and gift cards sent, and support all along the way! To God be the glory for all the amazing healing he has brought and will continue to bring!  We know that in a few years we will look back on this and it will be just a season, but we want you to know how thankful we are for each of you that have walked and continue to walk this journey with us. 

Feeling blessed. Scars and all!
(If you're curious and zoom in... the big scar on the right is where they closed up my ileostomy.  Then you can see the scars from the first two surgeries on the left and above my belly button.  And then there is one more large scar down below you can't see along my c-section scar.  It's incredible that the majority of these surgeries were done laparoscopically,
so my scars are actually very minimal!) 

If you want to go back and look at my earlier trips to Mayo, click below.

1) Before surgery 1 at Mayo 

2) After surgery 1 at Mayo

3) Surgery #2 update 

And if you view my blog in in web version (scroll to the bottom of your phone and click "web version") or view it on a computer, you can look at the right side of my blog and read allllll the chapters leading up to these surgeries going all the way back to 2005 when I first got sick up to the present.  

 

 

 

3 Weeks Post-Op Surgery #2 Update

Almost three weeks post-op surgery #2, and I’m juuuuuuuuust getting to an update. Just to recap....

Surgery #1 was at the end of June, and they removed my colon and gave me an ileostomy. 

Surgery #2 was on September 27th, and they built my Jpouch and created a new ileostomy with both “ends” at my stoma in preparation for surgery #3.

Surgery #3 will be connecting the ends at the site of my stoma and taking down the bag. It will be a fairly simple surgery compared to the other two! 

This surgery was much more painful than the first. My surgeon said I BARELY had enough small intestines to create the Jpouch and still have some extra for my ileostomy. She had to work hard to get everything to stretch. 

I think these were the main reasons for the increased pain/uncomfortability this time around: 

-Larger incision (similar to a c-section but a bit longer) 

-drain tube that had to be removed and sutures removed 

-a bridge was temporarily put in to keep my stoma in place (that had to be removed and sutures removed)

-Tons of sutures internally and lots of healing in my Jpouch that was built in this surgery 

-A new stoma that also had to heal.... again. 

-More nausea this time I think because my food goes through me even quicker now with so much of my small intestine being used to make the Jpouch. 

My fatigue and lack of energy this time around has been worse too. (But maybe more like what you would anticipate?) I tease that it felt like I actually had major surgery this time. Ha! Today was the first day where I didn’t wake up and immediately want to go right back to bed! Soooo that’s a huge praise! 

I’m making myself go for walks each day. Some days I get more steps in than others, but it’s so nice this time that it’s not 100+ degrees out like it was after my first surgery. It makes it sooo much better for walking outside because that intense heat just drained my energy this summer (and it usually messed up the seal on my bag when I went out in the heat. Imagine putting a sticker on your arm in the 100 degree heat and expecting it to stay stuck to you. Nope!) 

My restrictions are the same as after the last surgery — no lifting, pushing, or pulling more than 10 pounds (that’s about a gallon of milk) for 6 weeks. No pushing a stroller, lifting will, pushing a cart at the grocery store, etc) We are almost halfway there! Woohoo! 

I’m learning how to care for my new ileostomy as it’s a bit different than my first one and uses a different ostomy system/appliance. I seriously am still so proud of myself every time I look at all the ostomy supplies and change my bag out. Sometimes I feel like I should have an honorary degree in ostomy care. I’m also very glad that I only have 9 more weeks with it and then byyyyyyyye. 

I haven’t gone back to the office yet (I work part time at a financial office), but I started working from home this week. Up until this week, I hadn’t driven myself anywhere, but I’ve gotten out a little bit this week, so I’m hopeful that next week I will feel up to going into work and easing back into things. 

There are a million thank you’s we could say: to my parents, Matt’s parents, our family, and all our friends .... thank you for praying and for your encouraging words! Thank you to those who have helped with meals and gift cards to take the burden off me to cook dinner. For those who have helped with Will, watered our flowers, helped us financially with these extra expenses, for the cards, flowers, encouraging texts and emails, and a million other ways behind the scenes. We are sooooo humbled and unbelievably grateful for everyone’s support and help. We are so thankful we get to walk through this long season with your support and encouragement! 

We also found out that surgery #2 will be in December before Christmas. We are BEYOND grateful that we can get it allllll done in one year for insurance purposes. I will admit that I’m disappointed that I’ll be in recovery mode AGAIN over the holidays. But also unbelievably thankful for amazing medical care. 

We have much to be grateful for and we continue to be so thankful for your continued prayers for healing, increased energy for me and stamina for my caregivers, patience as I heal and rest, and for good, restorative sleep (I like to sleep on my stomach so my sleep has been affected drastically by these surgeries but it’s getting better. And I know....sleeping on your tummy is not good for you. This is me working on it! Haha), to not overdo but to also be up and build my strength back up. 

I’m often reminded of and reflect on 2 Corinthians 2:9-11 which is my prayer because I am often finding myself weak and imperfect: 

 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

I’ll be honest, I’m not always thankful for the circumstances I find myself in, but I am thankful for the way God is molding and changing me through all of this. Asking for help, depending on others, being served rather than serving, and being vulnerable have always been uncomfortable for me so I’m thankful for the ways God has stretched me and provided grace upon grace upon grace for me and my family. 

This was long! If you made it through the whole thing, bless you! Also, some people have asked for visuals so here are visuals in the pamphlets they give us on what actually happens in each surgery. If you don’t like visuals, just go ahead and stop scrolling now. :)  I promise there are no pictures of me -- just the actual process....

Surgery #1

Surgery #2

Surgery #3