- Remicade: Most of you that are reading this, probably are curious as to whether Remicade has done any good for my UC symptoms? I am happy to report that it seems to be working?!? Yay!!! I have now had 3 infusions, and I won't have my next one for about another month (the middle of November right before Thanksgiving).
- Steroids: You can click here for an old post I wrote a while back about the good that steroids can do or click here to read a post from a long time ago about the havoc that they can wreak on my body with all the side effects. I was on steroids for the first two infusions, so that really masks all the UC symptoms and made it hard for us to tell if the Remicade was doing its thing, but it seems to be. I have been off steroids for almost 2 months now, and I had my last infusion about a month ago, so for the past month, I have only had Remicade in my system and have NOT had a flare-up. That's GOT to be a good thing, right?!?
- I wish I could say that I am pill-free-and-proud-to-be, but that's just not the case. This school year really added a lot of stress (whether it was really all school or also a combination of this disease or if it was all stress in my head...I'm still not sure). We had some turnover within our department, I was the co-department chair for Math which had its own unique challenges and responsibilities, we changed curriculum (which was a HUGE change), we changed our software on our SmartBoards, and we changed the online Gradebook computer system that we use. I guess all that was just flat-out too much, which led to the toughest decision I've EVER made which was to quit my job because it was causing me too much constant stress and was just plain harmful to my body physically (I felt like I was constantly on the verge of a flare-up) and I could just not cope anymore.
- For a couple of weeks I just tried to "pull up my boot straps" and work through it at school, but I just couldn't keep up the pace and constantly felt this heavy weight that I just can't even explain. I was crying at the drop of a hat, I was constantly feeling overwhelmed, and I just could NEVER EVER feel caught up at school....it was rough. I'm not sure my team thought that an alien had taken over my body because I became a person I didn't even recognize or like. I'm sure it was really rough on my hubby too. Sorry MK!!! I had called to make an appointment with my GI doctor because he had prescribed Xanax for me in the past just to deal with the symptoms of the steroids, and my parents really encouraged me to call but I couldn't get an appointment for 2 weeks with my doctor. Sooooo defeating! I was so beyond frustrated (this was before I had quit and was trying to figure out what to do).
- It kept getting worse. I just kept coming home from school crying. So, one night when I was REALLY having a moment, Matt made the executive decision to call my doctor (on his personal cell phone number that he had given to us about a month prior JUST IN CASE he said. He said he normally doesn't give out his number but wanted us to have it--at the time I thought he was a crazy fool. Maybe he knew where all this could/would be headed. I don't know). Oh gosh, I was sooo nervous for him to call him at home and interrupt his normal daily life (I have pride issues, I realize), but of course, my doctor was wonderful and got me in the VERY next day...
- He explained to us that about 50% of patients with IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Diseases) also struggle with anxiety disorders and that I could very well have that but that I was also chemically imbalanced probably from going off of Prednisone. My family had been trying to tell me that for days--weeks even--but when you're the one chemically imbalanced, you don't even know you are. It's a bizarre feeling. I'm just not a weepy, anxious person so this has all been completely foreign territory to me.
- So, I am taking some medicines (Lexapro and Klonipin) for my anxiety that will also help regulate the chemical imbalance and that really helped me as I came off of Prednisone. It was almost like I was going through withdrawls from that stupid drug, since I had been on it sooooo stinking much. Argh. He also referred me to a counselor, and I've met with her three times now, and it's going well. It is so nice to have someone objective to talk to, and she has had many other patients with chronic illnesses, so she kinda "gets it." I hope we continue to make progress, and if nothing else, it is therapeutic to talk to someone that really listens and gives feedback, which she is great at!
Whew. I think we're at the "END" of my story. We're caught up to today--August 24th. 2012 has sure not gone at all like I had planned, but it is not my story to write. It is God's and His alone. In my daily calendar that I read by Kay Arthur today I read:
Rest! Cease striving, Beloved. Bury your head in His all-sufficient breast. Call upon your
El Shaddai, your all-sufficient Father. He says, "Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last"
(Rev 1:17). He's there before the fear comes, and He will be there when it's all over--ever the same, never changed or altered by time or man.
Many people ask me how I have gotten through all of this and think I am such a strong person. I don't think that's really it at all. I think God got me through it, and He has empowered me throughout this journey, and He will continue to... (I hope you know this great God too that wants to have a personal relationship with you. If you want to talk more about this, send me a private message on Facebook, and we'll talk more about it! God has been so faithful to us. I'd love for you to know Him too!!)
Or if my story has encouraged you or there are details you want to know that you feel I left out, please don't hesitate to contact me via email at kristinkleppe@gmail.com or message me on Facebook. It has been so wonderful to hear from some of you that have been reading...that really encourages my heart and then I learn from YOU!!!
I don't really think this is the end of my story
(maybe this story that's been going on for the past 5 years--
I sure would like some of THAT endless pooping stuff to be done),
nor do I think it has been unfortunate (I have learned soooo much)
nor do I think it has been unfortunate (I have learned soooo much)
but I believe it's the beginning of a new story that He's writing.
Stay tuned!
I'm going to keep blogging and keep you
informed each step
of the way as God shows me the way!
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