Interview with My Husband: His perspective on my UC

On the golf course--one of our favorite things to do when I'm healthy!

Matt has been the absolute GREATEST husband.  He has faithfully stood by me for 7 years (5 as my husband) and has been there from the beginning when I got sick in New York, as I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2010, and as I've battled through treatment after treatment.

I asked him the following questions, and you'll find his responses below:

1. When I (Kristin) was sick in New York City and then moved to the hospital in Iowa City, what were you thinking and feeling?  What do you remember about that time and the time following her hospitalization?

I didn't really realize how sick you were when you were out in NYC. I think that it hit me when I called your dad to come visit you in the hospital in Iowa City and he said you weren't really well enough to have visitors.  It was hard to see you as sick as you were when I finally came out to visit, but it was awesome that we were able to spend as much time together as we did.  Looking back at that period of time, I have realized that we were really able to use it as a time to truly grow closer together as a couple.  I was also able to spend a lot of time getting to know your parents, which was a blessing.

2. When I was first diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, did you know what it was?  Explain how you felt about the diagnosis at the time.

I hadn't really heard of it before, but I spent plenty of time on the web finding out as much as I could about it.  I didn't really realize that it was a chronic disease; I thought that you would be sick for a short time period and then be back to normal shortly thereafter.  Obviously, that is not the case, and it is really hard at times to see how much it affects you.

3. Explain what a typical "flare-up" appears like to you and how we deal with it as a team.

 By now I have a pretty good idea if you are in the middle of a flare up or not.  It is weird to think that our lives revolve around bodily functions, but there is some truth to it.  You also do a much better job of letting me know how you are really feeling, rather than trying to be stoic and not let on to how bad it is.  I try my best to keep things as calm as possible when it gets bad: doing household chores so you don't have to, taking care of Bailey, running interference with people who want to spend time with us, etc.  I have gotten over my need to try and "fix" the colitis and now it's all about trying to manage it.

Taking care of Bailey girl!

This was on a hot summer day...enough said! Thanks babe!

My "support crew" helping me set up my classroom.  Who knew it would be my last classroom? :(

4.  What am I like when I am taking steroids?  Go ahead and be honest.  We're trying to transparent here...

Well, you're not the most pleasant person to be around...I have to remember that it's not you, it's the drugs.  It's pretty weird seeing the physical changes that occur when you take a powerful steroid...I know that it is terrible for you, which makes it even harder to watch.  You can be really short and snippy, and seem to take your frustration out on me.  Again, I know that this is not your true intention but it is not easy to take on a consistent basis.  The "vicious cycle" of prednisone is really tough to deal with: it really calms the UC, but causes emotional strain on you and I.  I really hope that by relieving some stress points we can eliminate the need for you to be on the steroids as often as you have been.

I (Kristin here again) think this picture shows how I look when I'm on steroids.  Ugh.  My face just balloons up.  I heard someone call it "moon face."  Yep, that's about how I feel when I'm on those high doses of it. Ick.

 5. How do you think my UC has affected our marriage?  Do you think it has been a barrier or made us stronger?
 This illness has definitely made us stronger.  I know that we say "in sickness and in health" during our vows, but I don't think that many people have to deal with the sickness part as early in life as we have had to.  It has also given us the opportunity to truly put our faith and trust in Jesus, and not just give it lip service.  Depending on Him rather than ourselves has deepened our relationship with Him and with each other, which has grown us even closer together than we were before your diagnosis.  I think that your illness has given us a platform to show the world that our circumstances shouldn't dictate our happiness; true joy only comes from our relationship with the Lord.  I grieve for you and for the pain and suffering that the UC does to your body, but I rejoice in the fact that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in Christ's image, and that His plan is perfect for us. 
 
6. You often remind me that you are my PROVIDER and PROTECTOR.  Within that role, what would you like to say to people that don't understand what we are going through or may not fully understand UC?

First off, I am so very proud of you for sharing your story and being so open and honest about it.  I hope that you would be an inspiration to those who are dealing with tough issues.  I think that people need to understand that UC is a chronic, internal illness: even though you might look like you're ok on the outside we have no idea how you're feeling internally.  I have had to understand this myself the hard way, and to really try and put myself in your shoes.  Also, I know that people really want what's best for you and want to help you out.  With that being said, it gets really old when people try and give you health tips and advice without really understanding your disease or talking to you about it beforehand.  UC affects different people differently, with everyone having different triggers.  We really appreciate the thoughts and concerns but it can be overwhelming at times when people bestow their advice.

I would love to visit with anyone who has any questions or would like to know more about our story. 

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I (Kristin again) feel like I should add that MK goes above and beyond when I am sick.  He (with the help of my "support crew" as I like to call them) take care of making meals, cleaning, taking care of the dog, running errands, you name it.  

He is like SUPERMAN when I am sick, and he treats me like a queen even when I'm not sick.

I know God put us together for a reason, and MK is my perfect match.  Only a handful of people could put up with my "spunk" 

(to put it nicely) and then to toss in a chronic, costly (financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually) disease to the mix....just further proves what a wonderful spouse MK is.  

I couldn't do it without him and his support.  

There has never been a time when he has not "had my back" on an issue and always supports me 100%.  He has lived up to our vows (and beyond)!!!

 I love you so much, MK!!!