Doctor's Appointments and Big Decisions--An Update

Next week will be a big week in making some very important (health) decisions as we move forward with our plan of attack/treatment.

On Wednesday we will meet with my GI doctor. I haven't seen him since I started the Remicade infusions in August, and I am in the middle of a flare-up and am back on steroids, so this appointment was necessary but very unwanted. I was so hoping that I would get to remission....that "pie in the sky" place where a flare-up shocks me because I am so not ready for it. To be honest, even when I'm feeling good, it's hard to not to be sitting in fear waiting for the next flare. That has been my life for 3 years, so I don't know any different anymore. Ugh. It's the ugly truth.

Also, it's no secret that we'd really like to add to our family, but it is too risky when I am flaring up. Ugh. Again, it feels like one step forward and two steps back. I'm really LEARNING patience. If you ask God for it, He will make you live it out. It's just not my favorite lesson. God's waiting room can be lonely and isolating and suffocating.

I have an infusion scheduled for Thursday...if we decide on Wednesday to continue with this plan of action. Please pray with us for wisdom in deciding what to do. Financially it is such a HUGE commitment to do these infusions, and it just made my heart sink when I flared up because it felt like ONE MORE THING that didn't work, and yet we had put all or eggs in that basket. Ugh. Discouraging to say the least. So we'll see.

And then Friday, I go back to my counselor after almost a month off for the holidays. (Man do I miss her). I am so thankful my doctor encouraged me to go see her and that my husband and family have been so supportive of it. Healing comes in a variety of ways, and God is using this counseling in some big ways in my life, and for that I am thankful.

(Ok...wrap this up, Kristin):

You can...
1. Pray for wisdom for us and the doctors in deciding the next step(s) to control my UC.
2. Pray for my anxious spirit--which is again heightened because I'm on steroids that mess with my mind.
3. Pray that I can sleep and rest at night. I have not been able to sleep well the past few nights, and it takes a toll on me when I'm battling a flare.

Thanks all! I appreciate you so much!