I've been thinking about those
categories:
1. Self-aware people: they are aware of social cues and norms. In a situation or conversation, they know what is socially acceptable and are adaptable in a variety of situations (ex: the manner in which you talk to your boss is different than the way you speak to your boyfriend or BFF which is different from the way you speak to your grandma). You see what I'm getting at? These people are aware of how they are being perceived and take cues from others before proceeding with what they have to say and make sure that it is delivered with the intended message.
I'm not sure if being aware is caught or taught. What do you think? I do think that as you become more and more aware of other's feelings, needs, and cues, it allows you to adapt your delivery and your awareness continues to heighten.
I think what is so sad is when people are aware, yet they--either intentionally or unintentionally (it doesn't matter--it's still hurtful)--still make choices that reflect a lack of sensitivity. I think that's called being self-involved. Ugh.
I don't always know where I fall on this continuum, but I am working hard to become as aware as possible! That's my goal to learn, observe, grow, and mature as I go through these tough times.
What do you think????
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3 comments:
It's strange -- you know, I think people who are self-involved are one of two things. First, they aren't self-aware at all, hence the unintentional self-involvement and hurtfulness toward others and themselves. Then, the REALLY self-aware people (so while being self-involved, they know what they're doing and it hurts a HECK of a lot more). Either way, every self-involved person I know goes through close friends very quickly and is always surrounded by drama. It's a never-ending cycle of "why me?" and it makes me really sad to see. After being stung by the hurtful comments you were talking about, I go through a cycle of "they deserve anything bad that comes their way" to "they must be so lonely." (Upset with them one minute, then realizing that they'll never be happy on their path the next) To me, that's a logical circle of a 'victim' of hurtful or even hateful comments from the self-involved friend, and it feels a lot like a flare-up. It stings after the hurtful comments, then there's the period of praying and feeling sorryfor the self-involved person. Do you ever go through that cycle, or know what I mean?
Anna, yes, I completely understand the cycle you're talking about!!!!
I've just decided that I am accountable to God for my actions/words and so are others. It's not my place to carry their hurtful words on my own...I'm learning to release it all to Him for His burden is light.
Those people are also accountable for what they say, and fortunately, we're ALL accountable to the only One that truly knows our hearts and is able to determine what our motivations are!!!
So glad I have a friend that "gets it." :-)
I'm SO glad that you understand that cycle, and how it gets exhausting just being in the middle of it! I've become a doormat, freely letting people walk all over me and not saying anything or admitting that what they are saying or doing is hurtful, and it causes a lot of guilt. Guilt is a useless emotion, but I still have to fight it and I'll always have to fight it because of my nature. However, I'm also very glad that I, too, "have a friend that 'gets it.' " Hope to see you over the holidays and have a very Merry Christmas!
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