Pondering....

For the last few days, I have been pondering why in the world I am so competitive.

In community group this past week, it came up in conversation. Ever since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about why I am so darn competitive?

Here are some possible reasons:

1. I was raised by parents that allowed me to be competitive from a young age
2. I always tried to beat my sister growing up, but never really did because she had a 6.5 year advantage on me...which perpetuated my competitive nature even more
3. My extended family is crazy competitive. We're talking grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, everybody. They are all pretty competitive for the most part.
4. I push myself in life. I have this drive--I don't know how to explain it. I always try to be the best that I can be. It pushes me to want to win.
5. Why play a game if you aren't playing it to win? Plain. Simple.

Here are my memories about "competition from growing up"

• I would keep myself occupied by playing games either in my head.....or by grabbing a sheet of paper and making up some kind of game. The best kind of games to play were the kind where I could play myself over and over and beat my own score. This allowed me not to need anyone to play with (ex: how many times can I swing the length of the pool in 2 minutes? I thought it was fun!).
• I distinctly remember playing Memory with my mom and letting her win, just so that she would want to play again.
• My dad was my softball coach growing up, and we were playing in the Highway 10 softball league. I was the pitcher, and I usually started in the games. One game my dad took me out in about the 5th inning to put in our "relief" pitcher. After the game, I chided him asking, "Dad, why'd you take me out? What'd I do wrong?" He replies, "Nothing, Kristin. We were just up by 10 runs, and it's a little league game." My reply, "And your point is???" haha! I guess I didn't understand that we don't just 50-point other teams in little league....

The hard part is now I am a "grown up" and I have a husband. I'm competitive with everyone--including him. I think sometimes I take it too far, but it's fun for me when I can get into something. I mean, if I'm going to invest the time to play a game, I plan to win that sucker. You better believe it! So basically my thinking has led me to a few points: a) I am competitive. b) I enjoy activities more when they are competitive c) My competitive nature can hurt people's feelings unfortunately.

So that led me to this question:

when is too much competition too much?

WHAT DO YOU THINK? I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS!