How my chronic illness has changed me....

There's no other way to put it:  having a chronic illness has changed my life and outlook.  It's funny though...when I put together a list, I could come up with waaaaay more positives than negatives of how all this has changed me?!? 

It's funny how the Lord can use something so unpleasant in your life to teach you.  For example, do I want to be the person that is always playing the role of the victim wondering "Why me? Why am I sick?" or do I ask myself "Why NOT me?"  (In essence asking myself what I can gain by going through this hard process...even though I don't want to be going through it at all).  So, the same circumstances could afflict two people and their outlook could be completely different. 

So here are some things I have been taught through my chronic illness.  Every day it is a choice to view these as lessons.  Some lessons are more pleasant to learn than others.  

Negatives-

- Colonoscopy prep work will never be fun.
- I have first-hand experience with so many types of medications, both for my UC and for my emotional state when I am under a flare and on steroids.  Not fun. 
-People's (usually unintentional) criticism of how I am treating my disease.  Check out my humorous spin on people's "suggestions" here.


Positives-

+ Lessons in patience:

• with myself as I don't always feel up to doing everything I "used to"
•  with doctors, who may not always call me back quick enough, who have to deliver tough news sometimes, who don't always have a time slot in their calendar exactly when I need to get in

+I have come to realize that I have the best husband a girl could ask for.  And when I don't feel well, he puts up with a lot.  OK, he puts up with me all the time, but honestly, I am just at my worst when I don't feel well, and he takes it in stride.  His patience is never-ending.  His ability to care for me "in sickness and in health" is truly him living out our wedding vows before my own eyes.  I love you, babe!!

+With that being said, my mom should have an honorary nursing degree.  She knows how to anticipate what I will need before I need it.  By the time I have hung up the phone with her on days when I am home sick, she is already on her way to my house with chicken noodle soup (made from scratch), Gatorade, and applesauce.  She listens to me complain, she helps me by asking questions at my doctor's appointments, and she always does it with such a cheerful heart.  I'm 27, but man, when she appears at my door, it is the best thing ever.  (Click here to read the best story of her swooping in to my rescue).  You rock, Mom!

+Ok, I just have the best family and friends ever...and blog readers, and Facebook friends, etc.  Ya'll, your words of encouragement mean all the difference in the world!

+ I am grateful for all these healthy days!!!!  "Normal" is actually AWESOME, and I try to remember that.  Until something is broken, we tend to take it for granted.  Since I know what it's like to live with a broken colon, I don't take my healthy days for granted! It can be a good thing to remember the bad days....because it makes the normal "every day" days seem that much better!!!!

+I have developed much more compassion and a kindred spirit with other people going through health problems, specifically chronic illnesses.  I get what it's like to not feel well long-term. I understand the fatigue.  I know what it's like to wait for the other shoe to drop.  That can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

+I have also developed such a compassion for those waiting for their baby (whether it is due to health reasons, infertility, adoption, foster care to adopt, etc).  The ache for a child that you can't or don't have is an absolutely awful situation to go through.  It is especially painful when you look around and only see pregnant people or families with kiddos, and some of those parents don't even appear to want anything to do with their kid.  So sad.  I pray daily for my friends and family going down this awful road, and I ask you to join me please!

I don't understand how people cope with the hard things in life without a relationship with the Lord.
If you are reading this today, chances are, you are going through something difficult in your own life.  Maybe it's not a chronic poopy illness like mine, but we all have our "stuff."  I want to tell you today that you weren't created for this world.  Because of sin, we are separated from Christ (which was not the way He intended it to be).  I don't have to explain to anyone that there is brokenness, hurt, confusion, and pain all around us.  You and I are living through it every day. But there is Someone who wants to take that burden on for you and for me--if we will let Him. 

Psalm 55:22 says "Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you."   

Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 I wish I could tell you that by placing your faith in Jesus, everything would be perfect.  Obviously my life is anything but perfect.  I am sinful, selfish, and sick.  But in Jesus Christ there is redemption, rest, and restoration.   We may not see it this side of heaven, but this world is but a vapor.  Ask Him to take over your life, give Him the drivers seat, and cast your burdens on to Him each and every day.  You will never regret it.  

(If you want to know more about my relationship with the Lord, please email me at kristinkleppe@gmail.com).